Cherish
So it has been sometime since I have posted. Happy resurrection to you all. Jesus lives! As many of you all know that we had a glorious one month stay in hospital. Emerson did well with third round, but had some severe effects within 24 hours of getting home.
As many of us have been put in time out...with my kids, due the pandemic I am learning so much.
✅Manny is quite hard on himself, he wants to do the best, and often times he expects that from the beginning. He is always willing to learn something, that is to his liking
✅Mia is quite stubborn, but enjoys anything that is creative or she gets to use her hands to do fine little details.
✅Emerson is attempting to make moves. He is constantly squirming and attempting to scoot. I feel like he will walk before crawling.
As everyone has been tucked up in their beds, I have a moment solo. But I must confess. The past few nights Mac has had a hard time sleeping through the night. Most likely from a recent spinal injection of chemo, along with repeat test (bone marrow biopsy and his spinal fluid was checked) midway of last week.
I was like a puddle of emotion. On one hand I was thinking
✳️God, my Heavenly Father, never sleeps
-the countless days and nights He is watching over us
✳️He sent his one and only son, Jesus to die for our sins
-all the punishment He endured for us
At the same time as I stared at the face of my son, all I could think of is a mother that I know that had recently lost her son. Sweet baby ‘C’. We had met, under unfortunate circumstances as her son was diagnosed with AML, during Emerson’s 3rd round. My heart believes that God did not desire for him to suffer. Now that is not to say that the families hearts are not empty, or long to hold him/kiss him/wipe his tears away. It’s really just sorta knock the wind out of me, in part that he was just 6 months, one month older than Mac, when he got his initial diagnosis, and had so many complications.
Not to take a way from their loss, it just really allows me to be given a swift kick in the pants when I realize how selfish I can be. I mean we have been home for about 2 weeks, and I’m pretty sure I have cleaned and re-organized every other inch of our home. Kids clothes, kitchen, laundry room, toys. You name it I cleaned and washed and folded countless of loads. I think to keep myself busy and to keep me mind off of dreading this return to the hospitals.
Tomorrow is first day of round 4. I can honestly say I’m a bit nervous as there are so many distractions with visitor polices. Which means if we have to be in hospital for more than 5 days my poor Mac is stuck looking at my face. I’m glad he enjoys it for the most part. But of course I will miss my Manny and Mia so much.
So please forgive the pictures!
So just a friendly reminder, I know you may be tired or frustrated with your kids or even a family member. But sometimes you just have to recognize what is in front of you. Cherish each moment. That may mean putting down the laundry and playing with the water hose. Or falling asleep in between your kids as they snuggle you. Heck, sometimes crying with your child, as you remind them about what is happening and how much you will miss them, it is totally worth it (the crying, not being apart)
Father God thank you for your endless love. May we be reminded that tomorrow is not guaranteed, but that the moments you do give us we must cherish them. Yes, we may get frustrated that we have a lack of sleep, but if losing a few hours means holding a child, than may I rejoice in my lack of sleep. In Jesus name, Amen
Amen
ReplyDeleteCute as can be. Prayers for sweets Baby
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