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Showing posts from July, 2020

Little victories

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My mom is letting me write today. It won’t be too long but I figure I missed chatting with all of you.  Yesterday my mommy had to have a hard talk. Something about if I get really sick, what would she want to do. I know my mommy and daddy, and a lot of you love me. I hear my mom say all the time that she believes that God has a bigger plan than just my cancer. I would like to think so. I’m over here  💪🏾  kicking leukemia out of this body.  The doctors say I’m doing really well. With that said guess what? I get to go home...well temporarily.  ✅ I go back to clinic the next 2 days for the last two doses of the first five days ✅ Re-admit me on Saturday for the remaining ten days That’s not even the best part. There is this group that is putting together a big outing for me and my family. We get to go to the zoo and I’m going to put on my best outfit, because I get to take pictures too! Isn’t it wonderful? With all the junk that I have experience in my 13 months of life, I’m honored that

Decisions

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WARNING: pretty detailed post today about uncomfortable talk  ==•==•==•== It would have been very foolish of me to think that choosing to pursue further chemo would not come with all sorts of strings.  So we are currently headed into the second day of chemo. Currently Emerson is doing very well. Still playing and laughing. Attempting to crawl throughout our room, attached to an IV pole.  This guy is so resilient that I’m proud to be his mom.  Let me get to the not so pleasant portion of my day. Had a visit from a young woman in palliative care. She wanted to introduce herself to me. As you all know part of our talk last week, prior to choosing for Mac to start another round was also option to keeping him comfortable at home (hospice) So let’s go over some definitions    ✅  Palliative care is an approach that improves the quality of life of patients and their families facing the problem associated with life-threatening illness, through the prevention and relief of suffering by means of

God’s plan, through chemo

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Good evening everyone. I am so grateful that God kept Emerson safe and guarded this weekend. No more fevers or other issues.  Today was a new day and Dr.V is back on service. So we knew we would potentially have some sort of plan.  Before I get into the details, I did say I would share with you his bellos counts. The team was a bit baffled at his numbers when we came in with the fevers. The reason being, that there was an assumption that his numbers (specifically WBC: white blood cells) would be high.  As for the reason as why his numbers look the way they do     *reminder: blast are immature cells Currently his blood is showing   ⬇️ WBC: this has actually dropped significantly from labs take two days prior  ⬇️ Hg/Hct ⬇️ Platelets ⬇️ Blast     ✳️ now if you recall the bone marrow: where all your blood cell lines are derived was about 60% with blast.  Now with the bone marrow high in blast,    if by God’s Grace there was true recovery (leukemia going away) than those above numbers would

Unwavering...only Christ

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Good morning everyone. It has been a few days since my last post. I will say that having the Instagram account and the WhatsApp group has been a blessing.  This blog has really truly been a way for me to not only share, in detail, Emerson’s adventure with illness (since birth). It has been an opportunity to praise Jesus during this time of both mountains and valleys. Having the other sources have been great for short updates, and to flood you all with cute pictures.  Don’t worry the blog is not going anywhere. I wanted to share with you what is going on at this point.  WE    DON’T KNOW! That is the honest truth. So last week we had a hard conversation that basically the transplant was not going to happen. As Emerson still had leukemic cells and it was not looking good. That we would have to wait until the bone marrow biopsy and imaging to make the next step. So when we got those back: imaging (stable, no change), but marrow 60% blasts. When I received that call on Friday I was then ask

Miracles

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Good    evening. It’s been a while since I’ve done night post,    but Emerson is in a time where he needs to be lifted up in prayer. As many of you who have been reading, I love Jesus. And I am believing that through His power, mercy and ability to heal we will have good news tomorrow.GREAT NEWS! Now I don’t take it lightly when I say that Jesus is in the business of performing miracles. I desire so much for that to be his will for Mac.  Below I’m going to share some miracles from the gospel. Now the last one I have clung on to as it resonates with Emerson’s story.  Mark‬ ‭8:22-26‬ ‭ESV “And they came to Bethsaida. And some people brought to him a blind man and begged him to touch him. And he took the blind man by the hand and led him out of the village, and when he had spit on his eyes and laid his hands on him, he asked him, "Do you see anything?" And he looked up and said, "I see people, but they look like trees, walking." Then Jesus laid his hands on his eyes ag

Call to prayer

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Good morning. These past 24 hours have been a lot for me and my family. Information was shared yesterday at the doctors office. It was basically how bad my leukemia is and they are not sure what the next step will be. This post won’t be too long as I just desire to ask a big favor of all of you who are reading. Fasting is the willful refrainment from eating for a period of time.  Prayer devout petition, spiritual communion with God.  Now for many of you, fasting may be difficult, especially if your health is involved. You could choose to abstain from something that you enjoy. My point is to request as tomorrow is a big deal with all the testing. I know how much my mommy loves Jesus and she trust in him. I hear her say that ‘God is a miracle worker’. We are pleading for just that. So we are petitioning you all to pray and fast and lift up prayers to our Heavenly Father.  Lord I need you LISTEN Jesús we are in need of you now more than ever. Though it may seem nice when words are out tog

Shaken up

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Caution, this post is real, as they all are. However it may make some of you uncomfortable.  Have you every watched Moana? There is a scene where moana is after Maui. Well in the middle of the night as she is voyaging there is a storm, she ask the water to help. She wakes up ship wrecked on an island and is upset, because she believes she is off course. She realizes she landed on the island where Maui has been. Well let me give you a better picture. The disciples sitting in a boat, and there is a bad storm. All the while Jesus is asleep. WHAT! The disciples in fear of drowning awoke Jesus.  “And they went and woke him, saying, "Save us, Lord; we are perishing." And he said to them, "Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?" Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. And the men marveled, saying, "What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?"” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭8:25-27‬  Since Emerson was diagnosed I have held on

Thy will

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God’s will. It’s a hard thing to wrap around as that means that God is in control. That you may have a desire but that doesn’t mean it aligns with Him. Know walking with God and having a relationship with Him, allows for you to place your worldly desires in the back seat. In time what occurs is that your desires align with Him. Yet, often a desire you may believe is what God wants, is not part of his plan.  Emerson going into remission was our desire, and when it happened we figured it was God’s will as well. But, his relapse, though frustrating and sad, made me re-evaluate. God’s not done. Mac still has a lot more to complete. Though I trust in the Lord, does not mean my fears are weak.  Listen to me ==•==•==•== from Mac: I get to come home. So the day before I was discharge there was a hold on al antibiotics except one. They wanted to see how I would do for at least 24 hours without antibiotics, especially since my count was trending up (basically they were improving). Needless to sa

Change

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Raise your hand if you like change? I’ve never been one to enjoy the concept of change, even if in the end it proved to be good. I mean let’s be honest if we knew what was to come there would be a lot less stress.  As a parent change is a constant.  ✅ food preference  ✅ nap schedules ✅ temperaments  ➡️ attitudes Right now my family is in the position of changing Emerson’s immune system. Now what could I possibly mean by that. Well let me first update you on what’s been going on then we will return to the change! ✳️ fevers  🌡 have continued     -they do not last all day, but they make him feel miserable  😭 ✳️ few episodes of  🤮 , praising God for that ✳️ after immense pushing from this doctor/mom      ✅ ultrasound done of his belly: showing small pocket of fluid, unsure if it’s pus. Plan is to communicate with surgery and possibly interventional radiology for drainage.      ✅ found a sore near his rectum (butthole), that is tender and feels like a small boil.         ✳️ at this point

Resilience

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✳️the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.    Good evening everyone. These past few days have been trying. Of course I don’t for a second want to take away from the obvious suffering and pain of my own child, to whine.  If anything it was trying as it seemed as if Emerson was not given a break. Now what could I possibly mean. Well currently as many as you know Mac is back in hospital with fevers. I tell you they  🌡  just don’t want to go away. By definition a fever: a temporary increase in your body temperature (100.4 to be exact). Well at Mac’s highest it was 102, that was on Tuesday prior to being admitted, otherwise he has been hanging in the 99 range with less than a handful of normal (98.6).  These almost fevers are no joke. I mean normally he runs a fever and then with a bit of Tylenol, as quick as it came it goes away. For the past 4 days, Mac’s head has been on fire but his extremities (legs/arms) are cool. The cultures (median by which we determine if the

Prayers

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Hi everyone. My mom says I can write today.  This post won’t be long as I’m pretty tired. We are back in hospital with fevers. I just wanted to talk about praying.  It is defined as a ‘verb’ in this fashion: addressing    a solemn request or expression of thanks to a deity or other object of worship. For me and my family that means our request or pleas are being brought before our Heavenly Father, God. We send them through his son, Jesus.  My mom would tell you that she was raised Catholic and had learned many prayers. Many of you know prayers, specifically as you learned them growing up. But can I tell you something, a prayer doesn’t have to be something you were taught or memorized. Often times I hear my mom saying:  ✳️ please Lord help my son, or  ✳️ give me strength this day.  She closes it with: ✳️ in Jesus name Amen Now during my time of illness I know that many of you have prayed for me, and I’m so glad to have prayer warriors. But I plead with you to take action.It’s easy to ge