Different Route

 Hi everyone. It is about 1am and I am working on some new things for you all. I look back at the selected post that opened up this blog, when I initially started this to share with you all about Emerson's diagnosis and his treatment plan.We plan to continue to share stories about Mac. Our hope is that this blog will continue to be a light in time of darkness for so many. We hope that you continue to journey with us on this new adventure. Though as hard as it has been and will be to know that Mac is no longer with us, we rejoice in knowing that he is with Jesus and no longer suffering. So come along with us on a new adventure, always remembering him and glorifying God. In Christ The Calderons #prayersup #goMac

Manny and the big 6

  Better late than never. I’m starting this off pretty slowly. So last year during this time we I just completed our fourth round with Emerson, and I was super elated to get back home and to share some time with family. Especially because Emmanuel was going to be turning five. His golden birthday! So I had it all planned it was the new age of drive up parades and I was ready to have loads of people just drive by and love on Emmanuel from far away. But little did we know true to Emerson fashion he spiked a fever and we ended up back in the hospital. But that wasn’t going to stop me from making sure that Mac’s big brother had a wonderful time. I was so grateful for my mother-in-law, Ayeya was able to stay at the hospital with Emerson, and I was able to step out enjoy the festivities. I decided to start writing letters to the kids for their birthday when Emelia    turned three last year. What a wonderful way for the kids to have some thing to look back on and to reminisce. I mean let’s be

Fournado: Mia turns 4

  So last year during this time we were in for third round of chemo with sweet Emerson ‘Mac’. We have had the joy of celebrating Amelia’s third birthday at Sugar roots farm. It was an absolute delight. Now mind you 24 hours before me, along with my husband and Manny and Mia headed out to go pick up her birthday t-shirts. Little did we know that the casual drive would be interrupted by us    rushing back home after Emerson had managed to have his G-tube pulled out and hurrying back out to go get it placed in surgerical clinic, by the wonderful Dr. R, before they closed and we would end up having to be in the emergency room. Remember this is literally right before the PANDEMIC. So we were super excited to celebrate Mia‘s third birthday and at that time with everything that was occurring and just such hope and strength in the Lord with Mac diagnosis, and the fact that he was doing so well we were beyond thrilled. So I decided that I wanted to start writing birthday letters to my kids. I f


  Emerson we love you I am still learning from you, loving on your siblings ==•== Good evening. As many of you had recently read about my process of applying for a job. As many of you know I have not worked for over a year and a half. To be honest I’m not scared of going back.    I mean the world of medicine looks a lot different in the past year with a pandemic.  I currently am a stay at home mom, navigating home schooling my kids, with the help of my younger sister (who also is homeschooling).  I can tell you it is not easy.  The Lord ask "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." -‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭22:6‬ ‭ Now with that said I can show appreciation for all that my parents did in their rearing of me as a child. Though it didn’t feel pleasant at the time I can see the results of following instructions as an adult.  I say all of this to get to my point of being intentional with my time and my prayers with the Lord. Making

I’m back....Gap year

  Defined as: A  gap year  is a  semester  or full  year  of experiential learning typically taken between high school graduation and college enrollment.  Gap years  are intended to  give  students a break from academics to discover themselves and consider what kind of education and career they want to pursue. Many of you know that I’m far beyond point of education. I basically was in school for over 20 years, I’m going back to kindergarten until I finished my residency. Well with a peace of mind I resigned soon after Emerson was diagnosed with AML. It was not a difficult decision. Currently I am trying to get back on the horse to practicing medicine again.  As many of you have experienced applying for a job you are asked to provide your CV, a resume. Now obviously each of your CV may vary based on your background and your skill sets.  As employee recruiter who is opening my file to review and evaluate my capabilities as a physician they will note a few things.  On hearing this, Jesus

Caregiver...simple sacrifice

  Defined as a family member or paid helper who regularly looks after a child or a sick, elderly, or disabled person. Good morning everyone.  It has been quite a while since my last post. I’m working on a post a week. That way I can share, and if it grows to more than great.  As you know with the recent loss of Emerson our season in our family has changed. Today I want to shed some light on those of us that have been caregivers.  Now if you read the definition, part of it describes a person taking care of a child. So that means most of us parents are caregivers. I mean that makes complete sense. However for those of us who have had an ill child, Mac or maybe a parent can be given the label of caregiver squared.  When I went out on maternity leave, a week prior to Emerson entering into our lives I was expecting that by the end of the summer I would return back to work. I would have my 12 weeks maternity leave and then get right back on the saddle and get ready to my doctors hat back on.

What if (fill in the blank)

 During our last admission Definition: despite the possibility that; no matter whether. These are the words that ought not be uttered by a mother, father, guardian of a child. There is a saying “And the What Ifs are the worst...”. They truly are Many of you who have followed us for this past year. During which time we welcomed our sweet boy Emerson, and by the time he had lived 1/3rd of his life were given the diagnosis of leukemia. During this same time Mac’s dad chose to change his career path and began training to become a  🧑🏾‍🚒 . Now you may not now how there schedule is, but they are on for 24 hours then off for 48, that doesn’t include if they are needed for overtime. I say all this because, well today he is on shift. That means that I have less of an excuse to actually go lay in bed. Our other two children are sleeping peacefully.  Lately I do not  😴  very well. On the one hand I have so many things to do, and no I am not  🧹🧽  my house  🤥 ! I do have so many things on my


  *not feeling or showing gratitude; not pleasant or acceptable Morning everyone. It has been a while since I have written. I will be honest, as I have always been. My motivation for the blog has not diminished but let’s just say I’m trying to catch up. Well what does that even mean?  I am still in the current mode of ‘just being mom’. Now with that said, I do not by any means diminish this role. If anything I have a profound gratitude for the many women who have taken on this role of motherhood. Believe me there are many versions as well.  I have always wanted to be a mom, but I don’t think the desire of being a mother and the reality of the responsibilities are remotely in the same realm.  You see you enjoy holding your niece/nephew or even your best friends kid. You do not mind babysitting or picking that cute outfit while your picking up something for yourself.  The reality is this ✅ you are responsible for a life ✅ clothes are worn today, and shrink overnight     ✳️ so hand me dow