Good

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Good evening. Today has first and foremost been a good day. I would like to acknowledge that even though there has been many days in which Emerson has had a bad day: symptoms wise. The days in and of itself were good. You see God breathers life into his lungs, and gave strength to his jaw so that he may still suckle and decisive nourishment from me (despite his stomach pains). The Lord granted him the ability to smile and hold onto my fingers. 

All good things.

Why not great?

Well I’m reminded when God was creating this world, and all of its inhabitants when He completed a creation, He stated that ‘it is good.’ Now those were God’s words not mine. To think of how amazing all of His creations were, I believe to say good was most definitely an understatement.

Yet I desire to see good despite the realities of what my son is living through and experiencing. 

This past week has been such a blessing. I mean our previous week was really difficult with constant crying, or screaming. More recently it’s been sporadic and Mac has been more like himself.

In the past 24 hours though, the bruising (most likely due to low platelets) hasn’t stopped this little guy from being on the move. Today as usual labs were drawn and results shared. As you know we have been trending his counts to determine if his marrow is recovering. Well...there are some blast present, 10%, which doesn’t seem like a lot (obviously we don’t want any). Thing is blast can’t go either way: mature or remain as blast (BAD). Of course labs will be drawn again in the morning. His belly is still fairly tender, but I have been able to provide Emerson with some feeds through his g-tube, without it being unbearable.

Currently we are awaiting for an image of Mac’s head. Appears to be some swelling to sides of his head...new development. 

Can we get a break? That is what I want to scream out to the Lord sometimes. I know in my heart that God is not turning knobs and shifting things to make Emerson’s health worse and/or better. I realize that God had his plan for my son way before I even knew he was to be mine. 

Father in heaven, you know my heart. Though it is torn right now with worry, I’m so grateful to walk in faith in you. I thank you for your hand of protection over him as we continue to fight through this leukemia. Praying for healing unto his stomach, that the count recovery with blast is only temporary that the numbers will show that they are maturing in the right direction, and I pray that the imaging is normal. I know I ask of many things from you Lord, but I know that you have my child in the palm of your hands. May I continue to praise you in this storm. I ask of these things in Jesus name, amen

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