Unwavering...only Christ

Good morning everyone. It has been a few days since my last post. I will say that having the Instagram account and the WhatsApp group has been a blessing. 

This blog has really truly been a way for me to not only share, in detail, Emerson’s adventure with illness (since birth). It has been an opportunity to praise Jesus during this time of both mountains and valleys. Having the other sources have been great for short updates, and to flood you all with cute pictures. 

Don’t worry the blog is not going anywhere.

I wanted to share with you what is going on at this point. 

WE  DON’T KNOW!

That is the honest truth. So last week we had a hard conversation that basically the transplant was not going to happen. As Emerson still had leukemic cells and it was not looking good. That we would have to wait until the bone marrow biopsy and imaging to make the next step. So when we got those back: imaging (stable, no change), but marrow 60% blasts. When I received that call on Friday I was then asked what do I want to do: move forward with aggressive treatment or just back off and keep Mac comfortable at home. 

Well there was no question or doubt, we desire LIFE. Not just a daily life but a life that brings glory-honor-praise to Jesus. 

Now mind you at this point Emerson has slept for only 2-3 hours, and thats not all the way. Misty a few minutes and then he screams and cries. So I’m ready to head back to hospital at any point. Sweet boy had a rough day with all the procedures: 

✅MRI of his head,   

✅bone marrow biopsy

    * A bone marrow biopsy involves removing a small sample of the bone marrowinside your bones for testing. Bone marrow is a soft tissue in the center of most large bones. It makes most of the body's blood cells. The biopsy is done using a small needle inserted into the bone.

✅lumbar puncture (with injection of chemo)

    *A lumbar puncture (LP), also called a spinal tap, is an invasive outpatient procedure used to remove a sample of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) from the subarachnoid space in the spine. (This test is similar to a blood test, in which a needle is inserted into an artery to collect blood for testing.) 

At this point I know that Mac has every right to be fussy and upset. My mind is racing thinking what’s next, as the plan is for us to come to be admitted this Monday, today, to determine what chemo would be utilized. 

 ✳️the more rounds of chemo done, lessens the chance for opportunity to move forward with a transplant.

This Saturday morning Emerson had a fever so we headed in.  Labs were done (explanation to come), and we were given option to stay or actually go home. Now this was given as they trust my ability to make sound medical judgment to return if anything happens, and there was the contingent plan of us returning Monday to be admitted and discuss the plan for which chemo. 

This mama decided to stay. This past month has been like a tsunami happening from a small man made pond. As his remission was not actually a remission, more like his AML had mutated, and those changes were not seen until almost 5 weeks after his last round, back in April.

Right now we are literally just hanging out waiting to see what the next step is. The one thing I know is certain is that Jesus is constant. The same yesterday, today and forever. I find such comfort in that. God is not done with Mac. 

Father God, though there are a lot of unknowns I’m so grateful for your consistency and your power to not waver in the storm. I’m anchored in you and know that you have shown such mercy to our son Emerson. Lord I pray for wisdom for the medical team in coming up with a plan. Though I know your will is greater than man’s, we pray and desire complete restoration for Emerson. Thank you for all you do. In Jesus name, Amen

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*don’t worry I will be posting his lab values and will attempt to explain