Gratitiude

For those of you who have been reading, and following thus blog, THANK YOU. For the many who have willingly in various ways: THANK YOU. 

I am not sure that I can show enough gratitude to each one of you. No matter how small your act may have been, know that it was HUGE, for Emerson and our family. 

Having a grateful heart:

*It helps us to recognize we have so much to be thankful for, even all of the little things, which often we may forget to thank Him for...but they really are the biggest, most important things in this life. It takes our attention off of our problems and helps us instead to reflect on, to remember, the goodness of His many blessings. 

I had to remind myself of the statement above in part that last night my heart wasn’t feeling grateful. I am pooped, and even when I should sleep, I’m thinking and doing other things. Especially since I’ve been back home. Many of you who know me well, I’m constantly cleaning and organizing. I think it’s my way of coping on a daily basis...who am I kidding I just totally controlling 🤥

But the reality is I’m partially tired due in part to that I don’t want to put Mac down. I mean I can, and I have, but when he starts crying I’m quick to pick him right back up. Mostly in part that Mac is going through so much and I don’t want him, not even for a second to be without comfort. That may mean that Emerson is sleeping on me, and I’m on the the recliner. Or that he is in his little rocker as I quickly take a shower.

Currently I can’t comfort him, which is the hardest part. We are back in pre-op, as he is scheduled for MRI (of just about entire body, minus his feet), followed by ultrasound of his eyes again. Once again there is this back log, of waiting. I mean my word , this waiting with no eating (kid who won’t take a pacifier) is just the worst. As of now the nurse states that there are 3 cases ahead of him. Now this mother is about to just feed him, if we have to wait much longer. I mean it’s breast milk for goodness sakes! 

Being on this side of the table as the patient, really sheds light on the backwardness of medicine. I mean it seems so complicated you know. But my gratefulness overflows in moments like this. My mil has been basically living with us and coming with me to all the doctor visits. Ayeya, as my children call her (as they were unable to say abuela when they were smaller). God has been using her to show me that despite my desire to be in control that I need not to be

* It reminds us we're not in control, but that we serve a Mighty God who is. It keeps us in a place of humility and dependency on Him, as we recognize how much we need Him.

We are going on day #33 at this time. Guess what, my little boy is doing amazing since being back home. I’m grateful for this time and I don’t want it to end. I know I must be vigilant in attending to his needs. 

Thank you Lord for your unfailing provisions, in so many ways. I know that you have a plan and purpose for this little guy and I can’t wait to see where this life will take him. Praying that the imaging today goes well and that the results are even better. I pray in your son Jesus mighty name Amen

P.S. he is back in my arms again

Eating and snuggling